That'll teach ME to go out for a jug of water at 1am.
On my way up the hill to 7-11, I suddenly had a mild 'bronchial incident".
I got my water, and going back home, I had to stop and rest at 2 bus stops.
Walking back down the hill, even with gravity on my side, I still only just barely moved.
Shambling along like the only zombie with good knees in a horror flick, I finally got to my block, only to be greeted by some (I assume) drunken girl who decided to drop trou and take a piss right on the corner of Humboldt and York, giggling to her friend about how excited she was to pee in front of an oncoming stranger (me).

Unfortunately, I wasnt able to engage in snark and sarcasm, as I bould barely walk and breathe at the same time, much less talk.

I FINALLY made it home. My lungs are wheezing, and for some reason my face is burning.
I've got 3 inhalers, but they are moostly from last year. I hope the medicine is still good.

I almost lost consciousness several times on the way home. Now, I think it's time to try to do it on purpose.
I am breathing a bit better, now, but I've a feeling that trying to walk (BACK) to work later today is gonna be quite an adventure!
I just hope there are no girls on the corner trying to pee.

( Writing this made me feel better )

This is what happens when i don't sleep, the weather is depressing me, and I am trying to help someone without sacrificing my personal space, but still feel guilty.
Anyway, good morning, LiveJournal.

Disney bought Marvel Comics.

It's only one page.
It's some of the worst work I've ever done, in my own opinion.
I ain't getting paid for it, but then, I don't really care about that.

But THIS:


Rocks my socks!1
(They even spelled my name right!!)

MUSICAL TESLA COILS
(featuring the themesong to my favorite movie!)

Okay, is it just me, or does it seem that the World View -
and by "world", i mean "internet" and "uninformed opinion of sanctimonious douchebags"
-is that we Americans are ALL seething bundles of violent psychotic hatred on two legs?
That we are each and all Oil-hungry, baby eating, sex fiend annihilators whose only desire is to obliterate everthing and everyone in the world and then fuck the corpses.

now, i'm not here to defend, or make counterpoints.
Unlike the tofu crowd, I'm not here to beg the world to like us,
or try to make the world like us by talking shit about my own country.
(I HATE assholes who do that. People, you're not worldly or more sophisticated by
flapping your gums about how much this country supposedly sucks and how your little
trip to Europe or wherever was SO much cooler. You just sound like a dumbass.)

No, I simply want to extoll a small bit of logic to those who believe in stereotypes, read too much into movies, and mistake America's Government for America itself:
If all the negative stereotypes and stories and misinformation about America (it's Government OR it's individual people) were TRUE...
Do you really think it's wise to relentlessly antagonize us?
That would be like running through a cage filled with starving jackals wearing nothing but raw meat undies.

.. just sayin'.

Dawn of the Day of the Night of the Return of the Revenge of the Son of the Living Dead, part 33&1/3: The End of A New Beginning, The Prequel!

Why the hell are people so.... "basic", as my old friend, Cliff would put it?

I make comic strips, yeah?
I have had more than my share of false starts, reworkings, and dropped ideas, but, for the most part, i put my heart and soul into them... or, at least, I used to.

I have a couple of my comics and ideas and such posted over at DrunkDuck.com and, for some of them, I have a small following. It was a few months ago, during a block where I couldn't produce that I decided to make a comic of outright smut.
Lo and behold, it is my most popular comic there to date.

I ran with it for a while, but, quickly lost interest, as, I am not really much of a creator of such naughtyness... at least it's not what I want to DO with my comics.
But, what really pisses me off is that no one really paid much attention to anything else I did.
Now, this wouldn't bother me so much if this was the case across the board at DrunkDuck, ComicsGenesis, or any other online comics community inhternet thingamajig that i watch.
But it isn't.
I gotta admit, it annoys me when I peruse the place and see nothing but stupid stick figure comics, sprite comics and badly drawn manga rip-offs, the crux of whose scripts are nothing but dick jokes, fag jokes and racist jokes, are the most popular things there.
Again, this wouldn't bother me if I thought that the majority of the readers and fans of these comics were the mentally damaged, developmentally arrested, frustrated virgin webcomic fans that the stereotypes suggest, but I know better.... or DO I?

So, out of anger, and honestly, downright whiny-bitchness, i devised a small social experiment:
I made one comic, of 4 obscure one-shot characters from some of my past comics, all female, in their underwear with sheer tops with the titles of my other comics printed on them.
I purposely made them disproportionate with badly drawn tits of erroneous gravitational effect, just to see if anyone would notice ( THAT )

Apparently, no one did.
I only did this about 7 hours ago, and already have 60 hits and 2 comments.
That's more than Shrimp Fried Riot got for the entire 6 months I had it up on Drunk Duck.
Not bad for a single page of an unadvertised comic that's only been in existance for just over a quarter of a day.
And, also, all the other comics and pin ups and stuff I do that I plastered across the chests of these (to the readers) nameless females, suddenly got a little spike in readership as well.

Really, America? REALLY?!!
I've only been making these comics, cross-posting about them across communities and discussing them since 2006!

Of course, the 2 comments I got on this comic were:
"I've looked at those comics, but sometimes a comic grabs you & sometimes it doesn't."
and, the oh-so-original
"What he said".

I see.
So, basically, all it takes to "grab" a reader is a pair (or 4) of badly drawn tits.

Once upon a time, the concept of self-produced webcomics gave me hope, and maybe just a little bit of love for the world.
Now, I weep for humanity.

incoxitated

FUCKING SPIDER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LINKNESS

adjust your volume.
It has background music.

So, apparently, Bellingham is beseiged by vampiric waterfowl.
Grab your crucifixes and hide your loaves of bread!!

The majority of my past relationships summed up by a now-deceased comic genius.

I just made myself laugh until I threw up.
Of course, there was a lot of hacking and wheezing and lungquakes involved, but still.
All because I amused myself with my "Chef" impression.
"I'm gonna make luv to ya Wo-Munnnn,
Gonna laya down by the fi-yahhhh"...
Bwah-hahahahahaha-ha-ha-hack-coughcoughcough-ha-cough-haha-heh
wheeeeze, waha-ha-coughhackbarrrrrf!!!1

Luckily for me, I was in the bathroom mirror.
Anywho, It's sunday, I'm bored and horribly, horribly awake.
I think I'll either see Watchmen again today, or Coraline, while it's still around.

Maybe I'll just wait for Mallards to open and spend some time there, forcing myself
to learn how to SKETCH.
This whole 'giving up the pencil' thing has just made me irritable.
I may not drop it completely, but I need a bit of time away from it, and when/IF I
DO take it up again, I have to learn how to do it all over again from scratch.

I arrive home at about 12:37am after and ARDUOUS TREK home, wheezing and tearing up the entire way. i get home, and waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs is....
A CUPCAKE.

It was left for me by my downstairs housemates.
The card says "Happy Spring".
The cupcake is Easter themed, with green shaved coconut grass atop the frosting, and little chocolate easter eggs under the umbrella.
That's sweet. They're nice folks and as late as it is, this TOTALLY made my day.

The only good thing about bronchitis.
Often, when I have a quiet moment to recline and there are no other sounds...
My wheezing, to my own ears, sounds like the engine of the TARDIS.

This is much less cool if one is not a geek.

Okay. Okay.
Can we stop? Really?
I think that I have heard just about ENOUGH about The Watchmen's Dr. Manhattan and the fact that he's naked through a good portion of the movie.
We GET it already! He has a PENIS!
Newsflash! Most Men DO!! (yeah, i said MOST. Don't ask.)
I mean, come ON, it was a pretty damn good movie.
Critics, who know NOTHING, and fanboys far geekier than I will EVER be, may pan the movie for not being 102% true to the source material, but haven't they learned by now that NO movie EVER will be? Sin City and 300 are about as close as you get, and even they changed some stuff.
But really, is that ALL you have to say about the flick?
Nothing about the hazy moral grey areas in the minds of The Comedian, or Rorshach???
No views on how the public will turn on heroes at the drop of a hat of the media and/or government tell them to? Or how disturbingly true that is of real life as well?
Nite-Owl's own, um, penile issues, even? Or maybe the giant sex scene in the Archimedes ship??
No? Anyone? anyone? Beuller?

Everything I've heard or read about the damn movie centered around, or prominently featured (pun) Dr. Manhattan's junk!!
Review by Rolling Stone? 3 separate mentions!
David Willis' ShortPacked, which I love, even kinda went the cheap route with a mention:

Worst job in Hollywood/ Really?
The intern Wait. Never mind the internet in general.

Repeat after me:
"IT'S JUST A DICK!"

The question I have is why is everyone making such a big deal outta that?
Oh, hang on. I think i may have the answer.
The "everybody" in question are prettymuch all straight guys, aren't they?
I forgot the "Straight Guy Rules" for a thing like this. My mistake.
Apparently, It's written somewhere in the giant book of testosterone poisoning that even so much as SEEING any penis other than one's own that isn't in some form of porn being stuffed into some semi-willing female instantly turns one GAY!
Oh Noes!!

I'd like to apologize to you, beforehand, all you straight guys in the world The continent of North America (yes, you're guilty too, Canada) and possibly the UK, who are open-minded and secure enough in your masculinity that this isn't an issue... yes, all 248 of you.
But, as bass ackwards as straight guys can be, the 'cure' for this little dilemma seems to be to KEEP FUCKING TALKING ABOUT IT TO THE POINT OF OBSESSION, which, in hetero guy logic, somehow makes you LESS gay.
(WTFINFINITY?)
Anywho, at LEAST some folks make it FUNNY.



but still... IT'S JUST A DICK!!!

Now, I can understand the inferiority complex a guy would get... after all, for a good bit of his onscreen azure exhibitionism, Doc was about 66 feet tall, which, i surmise gave him, what, about like a YARD and a half of cock? No man can compete. Not even those porn stars who look like there's a baby armadillo in their pants.
but really, THINK about it from Doc's barely human perspective. You're powerful unto the point of a GAWD. Do ya really NEED pants?
I think that the good folks of the parallel universe 1985 (not to mention all the squeamish viewers) should be eternally greatful Ol' Doc didn't routinely decide to dance the hootchie-cootchie down 5th avenue at 60+ feet tall, shaking what his momma didn't give him for the whole worlds (real and imaginary) to see... with WOOD!!

Please. Make Smurf jokes.
Talk about how Nite-Owl was supposed to be flabby and out of shape, but still had a better physique than YOU.
Talk about Silk Spectre I's um, issues with what I can only surmise was self esteem and 'liking it rough (That smile at the end was kinda creepy).
Talk about The Silhoutte. Straight guys are overly obsessed with lesbians, right?
If you MUST be all stereotypically passive/aggressive homophobic, talk about Ozymandias' haircut, bitchy demeanor and penchant for purple suits!

Or, better yet, see if you can get a kick out of THIS TRAIN OF THOUGHT.

But PLEEZE, for the love of all that is chocolate covered and deep fried, can we STOP TALKING ABOUT DR. MANHATTAN'S WANG like it's the AntiChrist, or something?

IT'S JUST A DICK!!!

Spring has officially sprung.
The wheezing has begun.
This isn't helping my fucking mood.
Note to self:
After getting my head and heart straight and finding whatever the fuck it is
that I'm internally searching for,
FIND A GODDAMNED CURE FOR FUCKING BRONCHITIS!!!

I give up.

Lost 2 more chunks of 2 teeth, and a 3rd is loose.
I hate my fucking job.
The more I work, the less money I make,and I am sick and fucking tired
of drunken fratboy idiots, uppity suburbanites and bums.
I am withdrawing more and more from humanity and less and less equipped to
interact with them day by day.
The only thing keeping me from becoming an alcoholic is lack of money.
I am too bitter and fucked up to even WANT romance, and sex is evil and unfulfilling,
but being alone is killing me.
I feel sick and depressed and there's nothing I can do about it, as I refuse to become
another fucking pill zombie, strung out on over-the-counter narcotics.

So, Dave, when you ask me how I'm doing, and I say "Same as always", this is
the shitty type of "always" that I mean.
This is the essence of my entire life.

No, there's nothing "good" about it.
Life is not a precious miracle, it's a neverending torrent of aggravation and
shit, and I'll thank you to keep your religious nonsense to yourself.

It's not your place to "save" me, and you don't have it in you if I WANTED you to,
which I don't.

vacation over, back to suck.

On a lighter note, it's been a little while since I saw cheapdialogue, obviously.
That beard is EPIC!!

Let's see now..
Had my first GOOD Bloody Mary,
Found out that the only thing more adorable than kitten feet is newborn baby feet.
the only thing cutr than THAT is a baby in a bear suit.
Got stuffed with Chinese food.
Had my only 3rd visit to Pike's Place Market in the almost 8 years I've lived in the Pacific Northwest.
Read through a HUGE chunk of Birds of Prey.
Vodka and Lemonade.
Introduced folks to the visual performance of Corky & The Juice Pigs' Only Gay Eskimo who hadn't ever actually SEEN it and thought of jhonathand.

Am going to, tomorrow, try and find the mythical city transit bus ride from Seattle to Bellingham.
Oughtta be fun.

Well, it wasn't the actual first night of my vacation, but it was the first night I ACTED like I was on vacation!
And the drunken posts were surprisingly positive, if horribly misspelled.
I got a bit of drawing done yesterday, then, leaving the Drop, and had a drink or two at Casa Que Pasa. Then, I got some Mallard's Icecream and did a little more drawing. I forgot how much I love the design of that place, as it's been almost a year since I'd been in there before this week.
Then I hung out with duffy61 for our usual Heroes night.
(Stuff's kicking into high gear on Heroes, but I often find myself having to go back and watch the previous episode online to remind myself how the various characters got to where they are.)
Had a few more drinks and a potato burrito back at Casa. I CALLED i_am_smrat, but he never answered. Hung out with one of my favorite bartenders, Andy, jawing about old times, before ambling (or is that shambling) over to Rumor's for karaoke with Poops.
Nate and Austin were there, and we yakked on all night. Very cool guys, but I only get to see either of them when I'm behind that accursed counter.
If I remember correctly, I did "Jump" from Van Halen and "Dock of the bay" by Otis Redding. Unfortunately, Poops didn't have "Roxanne" in his repetoire, which is the song I was originally looking for, but whatever. I got on stage.
From what I'm told, I wasn't bad at all. But then, I hate the way I sound over loud speakers and phones and electronics and such, so I will take their word for it.
All in all, one of the better nights I've had in a long time.
I like myself when I loosen up. I remind me of HIM.
I may go down to The Royal's karaoke tonight. I dunno if I'll sing. The last 2 times I sang there, the song lyrics were off-track from the music and I wound up looking like a dickhead.
But, if I do go, I will be partaking in lots of drinks.
But now, I have to draw something. I haven't done that yet today.